The Beginning: My Journey as "The Secret Observer"

2023-09-14 486 words 3 minutes

Contents

I've had the desire to create an online blog for nearly a decade now. It's been a persistent dream of mine, a place where I can pour out my musings online. While I've been keeping daily journals over the years, sharing my inner thoughts on the internet feels like an entirely different challenge.

I’ve tried several times before - writing stories, sharing thoughts or sharing my travel experiences, but something always got in the way and I’ve often given up. I believe it’s because of my fear of judgment or the concern that I might become too obsessed with writing, unable to stop. It’s a peculiar fear, I admit. Maybe it’s my reluctance to confront the thoughts residing within me. I’ve avoided facing them directly.

Yet, I’ve come to realize that writing is how you really get to know yourself and a way to truly comprehend one’s thoughts. It’s a journey of self-discovery. Confronting these fears is essential, no matter how daunting they may seem.

And so, I’ve finally taken the leap and made this blog, ’thesecretobserver.com.’ The name reflects my nature - I’m an avid observer of the world around me. It’s ingrained in me, almost a survival instinct, and an inherent part of who I am. When I find myself in a new environment, my mind automatically switches into observation mode, paying close attention to everything.

Sometimes, as I write my daily journals, my thoughts just flow freely, and upon reading my words later, I’m often surprised by the realization that these inner thoughts existed within me without my conscious awareness. Over the last 3-4 years, writing daily journals really helped me deal with my anxiety and overthinking.

I’m still thinking the extent to which I should filter my thoughts, but I believe I’ll figure it out as I go along.

At this very moment, as I’m typing this in my work PC, I can feel myself getting caught up in worrying if my writing is up to par or if my sentences are correct. It’s time to let go of this overthinking and wrap up my first post.

I’m planning to write shorter posts because it helps me stay consistent with my writing. Being consistent is more important than focusing too much on quality or other aspects. Additionally, I’m considering sharing my favorite quotes, memorable movie dialogues, or something I’ve come across at the end of each post.

For this post I want to share a quote from a book I love, ‘Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.’ This book means a lot to me and has given me confidence. I think it’s a great read for introverts.

The quote goes like this:

‘There’s a word for “people who are in their heads too much”: thinkers.’ - Susan Cain